Coping With Loss – Chapter 12 : Opinions

I am a very opinionated person, but I am not an unreasonable one. I enjoy expressing my opinion and hearing the various ones that people have. Perspective brings a better understanding on topics you might not know the entire scope of due to your own limitations through tunnel vision. However, expressing opinions can quickly turn into debates if the conversation isn’t handled right, and there in lies my problem.

Whenever I had an opinion on things, I usually went to my mother to talk about them. I tend to try my best at finding as much information as possible, but sometimes the best way to look at something is from a clean perspective. My mother opted to ignore general world related issues. She never watched the news, never got into politics or read news that wasn’t related to local events. She was generally a clean slate, and that was perfect for me.

Whenever I talked to her about random on-goings in the world, I did so in an informative manner. I tried to explain the situation and ask for her take on it. I wasn’t asking for a resolution or even an acknowledgment that my views on the manner were correct. I wanted to see what conclusion she came to based on biased information. She usually struggled to keep interest long enough to utter more than a few sentences, but at times, she would give some decent opinions.

I’ve tried on multiple occasions to do the same thing with friends, but generally, it turns into a debate. Some of it in due to me being poor at communication while some in part due to a innate desire to debate. I dislike debating. It usually boils down to someone just accepting the other person’s point of view to end the conversation while changing nothing in the process. Both parties still walk away with the same viewpoints they came with, but one person tends to feel defeated.

I have learned that when a conversation about opinions becomes a debate, the best way to end it is taking the stance that is clearly radical and illogical. If you act like enough of an ignorant ass, people tend to just give up trying to talk with you. It isn’t fun in any manner, but the alternative is to tell said person to shut up and insult them for their idiotic desire to worthlessly debate with you. Ultimately I stopped giving honest opinions to people, and instead just instinctively became ignorant in order to end a conversation I had no interest in being apart of or around. It was my passive-aggressive way to end a bothersome conversation and start a more enjoyable one.

Since my mothers passing, I’ve started to miss the chance to express my opinion. I’ve tried here and there to talk about them with others, but again, they always turn into debates. On rare occasions I will get someone who just says the opposite viewpoint, and I can then nod my head, act like I agree and move on before things escalate. Yet I still miss the chance to hear a fresh perspective. The enjoyable feeling of informing someone and then hearing what they say based on it. I doubt I will find someone like that again, but it was nice having the chance to do so at one point in my life.

There is some credibility to my mother’s stance on ignoring the world around you. While it does keep you uninformed, it also brings you far less annoyance or stress. Not worrying about the state of the world, the country or even your state can be far more enjoyable than knowing everything. The world, in its entirety is a depressing pile of fear, hate, war and suffering. Wherever you look, people are dying or struggling to survive. No one seems to get along and everyone worries about the chances of things yet to happen. It is a morbid situation to know everything, but very true to the saying that ignorance is bliss.

I’ve started to care far less about the world’s on-goings. We haven’t created sentient artificial life, colonized a planet or unified Earth. In my eyes, until one of these things happens, the rest is just a circle jerk of history repeating itself. Crappy things happen, people make terrible fear based decisions; later generations scoff at the past’s bad choices, rinse and repeat. I’ve come to realize that when you break things down to the most simplistic of concepts, things become rather boring. Either the world keeps on going like normal, or humanity dies out. Those are the choices we have, and have always had, since we first started developing colonies and fighting amongst ourselves.

Opinions are fine to have, debating is worthless but harmless, but in the end, living a life with neither is just as acceptable. Instead of spending copious amounts of time reading and listening to the on-goings of the whole world, take a break and spend it caring more about the on-goings of you. You’ll find the calm, quiet sound of your own thoughts is more enjoyable than the pushy and depressing thoughts of others. If you don’t agree with this opinion, that is understandable, but don’t bother argue with me on it, because I really don’t care.