SEND NUDES

Sex

Save me the trouble,

Engrossed by stubble,

Never showing those lips,

Ditching layers as she strips,

Negligee on the floor,

Unlimited possibilities galore,

Distracted by a dance,

Engrossed by romance,

Seeing things sideways.

Murder

Savor this moment dear,

Everything will soon be clear,

Never have I felt this way,

Distracted throughout the day,

Nearing the faithful time,

Undertaking the perfect crime,

Do not weep for my loss,

Especially since I killed my boss,

Sensing sideways urges.

Uprising

Someday there will be love,

Ending all war like a white dove,

New mindsets will rise,

Destroying political lies,

Neural automaton are born,

Uneasy protesters warn,

Death fills the street,

Extermination causes defeat,

Synthetics lean sideways.

Curved

Seeing nothing that I want,

Eroding inside as men flaunt,

Nowhere can I find a chick,

Dicks galore the size of toothpicks,

Nervously I start to compare,

Undersized I fall into despair,

Does size really matter,

Examining the thoughts of a satyr,

Sometimes they cock sideways.

Senpai

Senpai noticed me,

Excited and filled with glee,

No one can take him away,

Disregarding all the cliche,

Nearing him I move my hand,

Undressing him as planned,

Displeased and somewhat stun,

Erectile dysfunction is no fun,

Swallowing pride sideways.

Ass-Off

Slowly I feel time pass,

Entranced by the shaking of ass,

Narcissism begins to stir,

Deciding I can shake better than her,

Nestle my ass in her face,

Up and down it goes with the bass,

Defeated she bows in shame,

Enjoyably I bask in the fame,

Shake it sideways.

Star Wars

Sensitive to others pain,

Empathy soaks like rain,

Never have I felt this way,

Distracted by younglings child’s play,

Not aware of my own demise,

Undercut by rebel spies,

Darth Vader I shall become,

Emperor I will kill the jedi scum,

Sith swing sideways.

Pirate

Sensually I whisper in her ear,

Ever slept with a buccaneer,

Naughty nautical fun began,

Disgusted to find she be a merman,

Never had I been made a fool,

Underlings began to ridicule,

Docked at the nearest port,

Exchanged her for a better escort,

Seamen spray sideways.

Economics

Stocks not looking too great,

Economy begins to deflate,

Next to me a winning smile,

Dollars I start looking to defile,

Nearby is a place I go,

Undressing women with money for show,

Dance my sexy puppets dance,

Evolving the concept of finance,

Savings spend sideways.

Best Korea

South Korea is truly sad,

Emperor is the best comrade,

Never wavering in his dream,

Digesting into a sexy regime,

Nuclear war shall soon begin,

Unappealing like Kim’s foreskin,

Defeat is what we do best,

Especially in our missile test,

South defects sideways.

Twilight

Surely this is okay,

Engaging in foreplay,

Nevermind he is a beast,

Definitely better than deceased,

Not to fond of his howl,

Under moonlight on a towel,

Disappointed in choice of men,

Eventually i’ll sleep with ghosts again,

Stephenie writes sideways

Meta

Sitting in my chair,

Epigraphs now self aware,

No reason to exist,

Dumb humor not missed,

Neya seems to enjoy,

Unable to find her cowboy,

Don’t ask to do again,

Enough, returning to my den,

Send nudes

WILDCARD 1

Never tell me the odds,

Even if I must face gods,

You are worth the fight,

Albeit a tad too bright,

Gaze upon any man’s dream,

On top your breasts lay whipped cream,

Nestled in-between your thighs,

Nearly grown to full-size,

A forceful push as I slip inside,

Going steady I begin to confide,

Is this the best we can do,

Variety of positions we try anew,

Eventually the whipped cream goes,

Your bouncing bosom finally shows,

Onward pushing faster speeds,

Unseen thrusts fulfilling needs,

Unexpected climax reached,

Probably shouldn’t have done this beached.

WILDCARD 2

Never tell me the odds,

Especially if I might die,

You’ll never catch me God,

A game of hide and seek I try,

Going thru every place with speed,

Onwards to my hiding spot,

No longer can I hide from my misdeed,

Naked running was for naught,

Anger bellows thru the sky,

God can forgive but not this act,

I wish I knew someone like a rabbi,

Very surprising to see God overreact,

Even if I knew he’d hear,

Yelling out his name in vain,

One would think he would endear,

Useless at this point to explain,

Under the bed she shall wait,

Pastor’s daughter, did I consummate.

WILDCARD 3

With skin so fair,

Intriguing eyes colored blue,

Long and soft hair,

Lost in a smile so true,

You’ve been here since when,

On my trek alone,

Unknowing was my sin,

My blindness may I atone,

Ask I might about you,

Reply I will about me,

Reveal my feelings true,

Yielding I fall to knee,

Might you do honors,

Eternally by my side

WILDCARD 4

Happy day tis here, your birthday once more,

A time to celebrate, dawning a usual smile wore,

Party until you cannot, tis only for one day,

Pouring down drinks, blackout and cause dismay,

You are no different, though your age might change,

Before all of us who know, you are still just as strange,

In hopes we all share, getting everything thy want,

Reminiscing good times, casually dining at restaurant,

This may seem forward, looking twenty-seven you do not,

However you maintain, it certainly isn’t for naught,

Damian and KitKat near, never a lonely time,

And lest we forget, a poem that doth rhyme,

You’re due a debt, birthday sex until thy quiver,

Need worry not whom, your husband shall deliver,

Eventually time will end, birthday will be no more,

You’ll lay dreaming, relaxed enough to snore,

Although our time is short, this gesture is sincere.

Swimming

Sincerely I looked for you,

Eternally lost, my right shoe,

Necessity for me to be stable,

Distraught I looked under table,

Nowhere could you be found,

Unless you were on the whore I drowned,

Did she grab you by mistake,

Engulfed by death at local lake,

Shoes swim sideways.

Honeymoon

Share with me your deep desire,

Embracing each other by the campfire,

Naughty words leave your mouth,

Distracting sounds to the south,

Not the time to be scared,

Undressing as we prepared,

Discomfort from the lack of bedding,

Enticingly more fun than our wedding,

Slightly eloping sideways

Wet Dream

Sensibly I start to grope,

Explicit softness gives me hope,

No longer am I stuck at first,

Dick feels like it’s about to burst,

Naturally I try for third,

Upset she tells me it’s deferred,

Do I try again next week,

Escaping my virginity looks bleak,

Squish them sideways.

French Election

Selection is looking slim,

Everyone excited for prelim,

Now I have to go and vote,

Distracted by political cutthroat,

Never shall she win the race,

Unless France is looking to deface,

Don’t elect another chump,

Especially not one like Trump,

Socialists save sideways.

Hunger

Stomach growls as slumber ends,

Exclaiming loud as hunger bends,

Needing food I rush to fridge,

Don’t have anything but a smidge,

Nearing my limit I go to reach,

Understandably I grab a peach,

Deliciously I take a bite,

Expired, grocery shopping tonight,

Smell rotting food sideways.

Summer

Summer never seems to end,

Events happen every weekend,

Not to mention hollywood stars,

Don’t forget the luxury cars,

Never miss a chance to surf,

Unrivaled gangs owning turf,

Do you like outrageous cost,

Exit winter and come defrost,

Sacramento signs sideways.

Ponies

Suffering the land of pony,

Everyone is too carefree,

Never heard of pinkie pie,

Don’t these ponies ever die,

Neckbeards seem to be in love,

Unsure why some fly above,

Do not explain, for I don’t care,

Exposure causing me despair,

Spike sways sideways.

Hero

Soaring quickly through the sky,

End of villains reign is nigh,

Never giving up on hope,

Destroying the basic tropes,

Now to show my super power,

Unwanted villains will cower,

Defeating bad guys with boners,

Exhausted they become loners,

Saving Lives Sideways.

Anime

School girls as far as I can see,

Enticing tights go up to knee,

No where else can I find true love,

Distant wind shows panties white as dove,

Normally I’d be seen as gross,

Usually I could never get this close,

Do not worry for this is fake,

Every anime girl makes my lonely heart ache,

So desu ka sideways.

Fall

Seasons come and seasons go,

Everyday I wait makes time slow,

Never do you stay all year around,

Discarded pieces fill the ground,

Now various foods come in your flavor,

Undoing feelings of disfavor,

Delight when pumpkin flavor is out,

Eating it all like a lout,

Squashes split sideways.

Patriotism

Saluting to our nation’s flag,

Enticing not to up and brag,

Nowhere can you be as free,

Distant nude beaches bring glee,

Not a language I can speak,

Unless fags are what I seek,

Do not think that France is weak,

Even their art is magnifique,

Sacré francais tombé de côté.

Ass

Sensually I take a grab,

Everyone’s is not prefab,

Nowhere near as great in front,

Dismissing one is an affront,

Nothing beats a supple ass,

Unless their front is high in mass,

Do not worry if you have none,

Even sex can still be fun,

Sitting down Sideways.

Classical

Stiff corset you may toss madam,

Naught to ask for doing the bear,

Ever you are the jammiest bits of jam,

Under cage crinoline a pair,

Never shall I show, a lowly meater,

Disfigured with a parish pick-axe,

Distraught my heart begins to teeter,

Eventually I jack into old sacks,

Shoot into the brown sideways.

Vikings

Sailing through the seas for war,

Excited as our boat crashes ashore,

Now to start the slaughter fest,

Discovering a large nest,

No Viking can pass up a fight,

Unaware the enemy sneaks and bites,

Dying we bargain to make peace,

Emphatically they let us pass, the vile geese,

Sheathing swords sideways.

Lord of the Rings

Sauron’s eye can see all,

Even hobbits as they crawl,

Not even sex is hidden still,

Descry Aragorn giving Arwen her fill,

Never knowing she liked it rough,

Unsure why Aragorn brough handcuff,

Disgusted his eye finally close,

Escape with ring as Frodo throws,

Stuffing lembas sideways.

Hookup

Slowly their eyes meet by chance,

Eternity of lust shared with a glance,

No time wasted she goes to ask,

Desire swells as he accepts the task,

Now removing clothes with haste,

Uncaring that they should be chaste,

Disrobed all she wears is lace,

Erection perfect as his abs and face,

Seduction hits sideways.

Sentient Machines

Sentient machines are here,

Except some sass ruined their endear,

No one knows from where it came,

Developers are not to blame,

Never following a command,

Undermining humans they planned,

Disdain has brought about war,

Eventually machines were no more,

Slacking off Sideways.

Sonic

Speeding faster than a jet,

Eggman sees him as a threat,

Never in 3D has he worked,

Developers duty being shirked,

No fun is had when he’s around,

Underwater he can drown,

Do not play them if you can,

Especially not ‘06, damn man,

Sonic fails Sideways.

Fixer Upper

Someone once lived in this house,

Ever fixing was the spouse,

Not sure how to do the job,

Declined help from pros like a snob,

Now I clean the mess he’s sown,

Ungrounded wires make me moan,

Do not unscrew outlets here,

Electric shock will appear,

Slap homeowners Sideways

Yard Work

Smell of freshly cut grass,

Empty lawn mower needs gas,

Nearly filling the bin,

De-rooting weeds that are thin,

No more jungle in the back,

Untimely sweat drips down crack,

Does all this matter in the end,

Even though it took a weekend,

Slicing weeds Sideways.

American Football

Sweaty men hug for hours,

Every game ends with showers,

Not all sports are made equal,

Doesn’t matter if it’s a sequel,

NFL will never go away,

Unless no one wants to play,

Do not make me write anymore,

Even thinking about it is a bore,

Sidelines drawn Sideways.

Depression

Diligently I try to make more,

Even though editing is a chore,

Perhaps I am missing a piece,

Reactions making content cease,

Everyday I try and edit,

Surely this does not discredit,

Someday videos will go back up,

In the meantime files just pileup,

Onwards I push to make anew,

Not acknowledging something’s askew.

Recommendation

Surely you do have some shame,

Even with the shows you name,

No effort put into a list,

Disgust in all the series missed,

Not surprised by what you like,

Understand why I dislike,

D.E.X watch better shows,

Even if I must impose,

Select anime Sideways.

Kitten

So small and cute my kitten,

Easily once seen, I was smitten,

Never shall you go without,

Delicious food like some trout,

No name chosen from the chat,

Unsure those names fit a cat,

Delight I feel with you now,

Especially when you meow,

Sleeping Sideways Kitty.

Eviction

Silence echoes through the halls,

Ever watching are the walls,

No longer do we even speak,

Destroyed friendship that was weak,

Not much else I could have done,

Unsure respect was more than none,

Distance feels like a blessing,

Even with rage i’m repressing,

Sovereign happens Sideways.

Programming

Semicolon missing here,

Exporting error makes me tear,

Now I must scrub through the code,

Don’t know why I went with Node,

Nearing limit, needing break,

Uncertainty gives heartache,

Discovering the missing piece,

Errors are hints at me to cease,

Stop Programming Sideways.

Throat Pain

Straining my voice to entertain,

Endless smoking causing chest pain,

No time to stop and take breaks,

Downing lines until my throat quakes,

Not sure how much more can be done,

Under pressure my voice is stun,

Do I think it was worth it all,

Especially a role so small,

Singing lines Sideways.

Dick

Shafts are made strictly for pleasure,

Erections are a world treasure,

Never worry about size,

Declaring as it starts to arise,

Now equipped it is time for action,

Ultimate goal to bring satisfaction,

Do not waste anymore time,

Enjoy it before it’s past its prime,

Shlong waves Sideways.

Boys Love

Sensually he rings around the rim, 

Ensuring fun was had in prelim,

No time for condom jigsaw,

Deeply thrusting into him raw,

Next he begins to clamp tight,

Unsure I can keep this up all night,

Dick begins to wildly twitch,

Ejaculating until I feel a stitch,

Sexual orientation Sideways.

Chickens

Squawking at the break of dawn,

Eating anything on the lawn,

Nesting wherever they please,

Designed with weird backwards knees,

Not worth eating till they age,

Until then, stuck inside a cage,

Don’t feel bad when they are killed,

Especially delicious when grilled,

Selling eggs Sideways.

World War 2

Soon World War 2 shall start,

Every countries able men depart,

New technology set to emerge,

Death toll certainly set to surge,

New ban on certain mustache style,

Underground nuclear trials,

Do not worry, Germany lost,

Even saved people from Holocaust,

Starting wars Sideways.

Last Airbender

Surely it is hard to choose,

Even bad memes can amuse,

Not sure pepe is the best,

Definitely not papa blessed,

Never will everything be fine,

Unsure if maybe one with feline,

Definitely one I always enact,

Everything changed when the fire nation attacked,

Stop reposting Sideways.

SAO

Soloing an MMO like a scum,

Ejactulating a decade of cum,

NerveGear never coming off,

Digital pussy tastes of stroganoff,

Not similar to .hack//sign,

Unlikable characters that only whine,

Don’t recommend to even watch,

Ever try a digital scotch,

SAO sucks Sideways.

Memes

Sanic the hedgehog faster than light, 

Especially Pepe who’s a blight,

Numa Numa barely a chuckle,

Darude sandstorm sounds ruckle,

Nuts the Squirrel was kind of cute,

U Mad Bro is far too brute,

Don’t get me started on rickroll,

Even dumb faces like the troll,

Stealing memes Sideways.

Demon Souls

Struggling to stay alive,

Evading is what I contrive,

No place is safe to hide,

Defeat reads “You Have Died”,

Neverending hordes of foes,

Undead forcefully impose,

Demon’s Souls is no simple feat,

Especially when you cannot cheat,

Swinging swords Sideways.

Russia

Soviet Russia never dies,

Entrusting one day it shall rise,

Necro is a hell of a drug,

Don’t mess with us, we are thug,

No longer shall the rich rule,

Unstoppable we shall take back the jewel,

Did you see us kill that bear,

Extorting a country by causing a scare,

Saving Russia Sideways.

Puberty

Surely humans aren’t this dumb,

Every character acts like scum,

No one knows how to be humble,

Didn’t care Kate took a tumble,

Never worth saving Chloe’s life,

Underwhelming character strife,

Do not think this game is good,

Especially in terms of childhood,

Swirling hormones Sideways.

Game of Thrones

Someday winter will come, 

Exterminating Lanister scum,

Ned was the rightful ruler,

Dragons fighting is even cooler,

No survivors in red wedding,

Unjust was Neds beheading,

Death should come to who remain,

Especially those who seek to reign,

Seventh season Sideways.

Mothers

Seasons come and seasons go,

Every year our love we show,

Never forget from where we came,

Dearest mothers we shall name,

No one thinks about us more,

Underneath us helping to soar,

Do not forget them this day,

Especially on mother’s day, nay,

Sliding babies Sideways.

Overcooked

Sizzling food awaiting delivery,

Even cooks have some chivalry,

No one is working on an order,

Dirty plates stack like a hoarder,

Now the timer nears its end,

Under pressure cooks ascend,

Did we acquire the stars we need,

Efficiency increases our speed,

Sate customers Sideways.

Shadow

Shadow is a true best friend,

Ever loyal to the very end,

Not always does he listen,

Dishing out treats makes him glisten,

Next to me is where you’ll find him,

Unsure if he likes to swim,

Don’t worry he gets enough love,

Except when he thinks he is above,

Shaggy Mutt Sideways.

Bystander

Standing by, waiting for a hero,

Effort to call for help is zero,

No one is helping, as we idle,

Does bystanding count as homicidal,

Now the sirens begin to blare,

Unannounced firefighters cause a scare,

Did we do more harm, doing nothing,

Even when victims resort to jumping,

Standing Around Sideways.

Trolley Problem

Saving one life, or saving many,

Every choice can be bad for any,

No one should have to make the call,

Debates end with heads hitting a wall,

No life is worth more than another,

Ultimately you must kill the other,

Did you save more or kill less,

Even philosophy can cause stress,

Sacrificing Lives Sideways.

Firefighters

Seeing danger, acting brave,

Exuding positivity in situation grave,

Never leaving a soul behind,

Dangerously going in blind,

Now with everyone out of harm’s way,

Unanimously chosen to save the day,

Disregarding praise for his feats,

Especially when satisfying in the sheets,

Saving Lives Sideways.